My life has been a long line of uncertainties. I’ve never committed to anything I’ve ever encountered, and I am not fully aware of why this is. It seems to me that there is nothing worth doing in this world, for there are so many things about it which are terrible and beyond our control. I can only speak my mind, and yet no matter what I say I cannot change the fact that the people with greed in their hearts are ruining this precious world. The only thing I can think of doing is helping my children to live and grow up with strong minds and bodies. Most people are living in a dream (or a nightmare if you happen to be born in certain places), sad, distracted, and unaware of how deeply asleep they are. I myself sleep, because I am tired of this false world of lies. Perhaps one day I will have the courage to think otherwise, to carry that spark within certain special people that allows them to do anything, but for now my spirit falters as I look upon our ‘works, and despair’.
That said, what I may be able to do yet is destroy some preconceptions and prejudices on the premises of common sense, or sound logic, which would be even better. That feat would make me very proud indeed, for I would be using the “objective” logic and the common sense of a realist to debunk widely held “realist” beliefs. I use the word belief because until something is absolutely proven as a universal truth it shall always be a theory left to believe in, on faith, and it shall never truly grace the skies of truth, for all of its crude pretending. Truth is not a cloud or a star. Truth is everything. Truth is the sky itself, and all that it holds, both what it seems, from our view, to hold, and also we who are held by it.
I see the rich man is no happier than I, and I see those who hang on to vices are utterly devoured by what they consume and make themselves one with empty substances. Even in my own heart a certain sickness grew, and to this day it haunts the fringes of my sight. What have I done to better this world? I have done nothing to better it, except perhaps to make friends with a few like-minded people and reinforce their ideas, hoping that they may prove more useful in time than I have until now. My life has been lived, all along, with a deep seed of emptiness in the pit of my core. The sadness, inexpressible except by long silence, emerges in gradual waves from my mind, my spinal column, my arms, and surrenders all things surrounding me to an atmosphere of helpless gloom.
But why would this be? It is impossible, unless perhaps I must have, somewhere along the way, abandoned my will to live. The wonders of the world have been lost to my eyes for many years now, though at times I wish to see them once more. I am always expecting a great and terrible event, and I am always shaking my head for all those who undeservingly live in the high seat of easy comfort. There are times when I starve myself to feel alive and yet in turn there are also times when I refuse, through an act of sheer obstinance, to sleep, toiling instead over idle games of intellectual conquest. Pride can be so tenacious a beleaguerer for those graced with any amount of intellect. It is quite unfortunate how difficult it is to disassociate oneself from one’s self, especially in these easy, automated times, when many of the negative effects of one’s own actions are justified, nullified, and even suppressed by the unwieldy beliefs (and therefore actions) of the masses.
I do not seek excuses for my lavish inactivity, even in acknowledging my lesser Piscean half, for I was born at the cusp, and how difficult it is to remove her from the influences of others with their odd energies. However impossible it may seem, I desire a positive and decisive change in the fundamental beliefs of the people of this world, and I desire this only because I wish for their actions to differ greatly from the habitual course the vast majority of the people of the world have taken. As it stands, the people must enforce a great deal of self-restraint and must do what may not be most profitable or easiest to do in the short-term. Couples must stop having more than a maximum of two children, one for each person; companies must stop following the preposterous requirement that, by law, the prospective plan or decision promising the maximum short-term profit must be carried out or followed through on. This is and shall always be a lazy strategy that depends too much on a mindless (albeit learned by the analysis of past trends) set of presets that does not take into account the constant evolution of the market, the dwindling supply of the world’s resources, and, indeed, the disintegrating state of the world itself. Here I use the word disintegrating because the world’s natural, biological system, which constantly strives to adapt to changes and maintain planetary homeostasis, is in the process of being “soiled” in artificial substances that cannot be decomposed and recycled and are therefore poisons to the planet. If you study biology for long enough, and have even an inkling of the mental spark required for the development of independent thought, you will realize that when considering the human body, all poisons are merely those substances which happen to dismantle or disintegrate the established and protected system of the body. These substances, through no “fault” or “intention” of their own, disturb and therefore destroy the delicate balance of countless factors and immeasurably many values by displacing certain elements, thus unweaving the functioning biological structure and, inevitably, ending life.
Some poisons merely block or intrude upon some of the secondary functions which, though crucial in the long term, are not immediately threatening (within the span of a few hours) to the survival of the biological organism. The body detects the intrusion as certain substances fail to be produced, and homeostasis is lost, petering out in some way or the other: and so we feel ill. We may very well become ill as the body abandons other activities and enters a state of emergency, in the hopes of releasing the poison before it causes more damage. On however small a scale, while not necessarily deadly to the entire organism at once, all poisons cause the diminishment, stalling, or permanent cessation of biological function, a statement equivalent with the phrase “a loss of life.” Life is not a light switch. It isn’t either on or off. When you sustain any injury to your body, however miniscule it may be, you are literally experiencing a loss of life. Of course your body recovers that loss, but for the moment the loss has still occurred, and extra measures (in terms of energy and material resources) must be taken to recover it. The hindrance of even a single organ, however small a role it may play, can drastically shave many years from the life of an otherwise healthy person.
When a person drinks too much alcohol, he or she begins to feel ill at ease. The hyphenation of the word disease is becoming popular as a means of illustrating the intuitive understanding of what dis-ease truly is, ease being the ideal state of homeostasis. The ethanol-based alcohol found in alcoholic beverages is what I would call a minor poison, while other kinds of alcohol prove deadly shortly after ingestion of relatively small amounts. Of course, most potable alcohols are derived from the breakdown of natural sugars found in many fruits, vegetables, and grains. It is no coincidence that methanol, the alcohol derived from wood, is deadly. Matured wood (as opposed to a sapling stem) is inedible to humans and is of absolutely no nutritional value. And yet virtually all of the natural foods found on our planet produce, upon proper fermenting, a poison that is quite tolerable to us, and that does not disagree completely with our bodies. Perhaps it has to do with the sugars themselves, for lack of a better phrase, agreeing with the nature of our bodies.
Or perhaps the human body (along with the bodies of many animals) has adapted over time to the occasional and unintentional ingestion of rotting fruits and other foods, which contained the poison ethanol in amounts small enough for our bodies to survive the poisoning and develop (and genetically preserve) countermeasures for it. Thus, eventually, over millions of years these adaptations would make these sugar-derived alcohols tolerable in modest amounts. This may also explain why different races can more easily tolerate certain alcoholic beverages derived from certain foods, while other races may find other forms of alcohol, derived from, say, potatoes instead of rice, more agreeable with their bodies. Most likely the bodies of alcoholics adapt to the lifestyle choices of their owners, pushing their tolerance up to the highest possible bar, and become seemingly immune to the effects of alcohol by configuring themselves in a way that they expect to be regularly saturated in alcohol, and are ready for it. Of course, it is also likely that this configuration would be wasteful in some way and would not be the optimal configuration for the body to function at in general. The liver tends to work double-overtime in alcoholics, and it is one of the first major organs, along with the kidneys, to go. I will not even mention the effects it has on the all-important heart or the brain, which is the essential decision-making survival tool of the human body.
Though the planet might not be dying in one fell swoop of a deadly poison such as, for example, a nuclear holocaust, our wastefulness and carefree thoughtlessness is causing a gradual poisoning of the planet’s ecosystem, and thus all sub-ecosystems that science might identify and categorize. I would like to distinguish the fact that in truth the planet has one, and only one, ecosystem, which encompasses the entirety of the planet, not only its surface, and which also includes its atmosphere. I can say this with absolute confidence because all of the ecosystems acknowledged by science (and even some which are not) are connected. They are all a part of one and the same great sphere, and changes in one section of the ecosphere will surely affect the other sections. There is no way that science can hide or dumb down this truth. The lack of respect which many scientists, engineers, and (especially) businessmen have for this planet is appalling and downright shameful. Many scientists, despite knowing the truths of their trade, have either been asked to be silent on certain issues, or have decided not to speak themselves upon witnessing the grave silence that is the trend of their contemporaries. Were they to speak out, others might ridicule them and publicly denounce them, endangering their reputations, and, therefore, endangering their careers as scientists. Some scientists have even misled the public with falsified studies, often engineered for the very same purpose of misleading the public by playing with figures and by presenting “facts” the truths of which are veiled by technical terms, rhetorical devices, and downright white lies.
And yet this is the world I find myself in, a world that is starving physically and spiritually, that hides its true self from itself, that is obsessed with the very narrow mindset of conquest and possession that bare-boned self-preservation allows, that lies to itself and secretly knows that it is lying to itself, and yet does not cease its endless list of lies and excuses that distract from what is truly important: life, and the preservation of ALL life, not just the self. At the same time, the limited space and resources on our planet must also be acknowledged, and the future of mankind must be planned according to those limits. We must plan our future in harmony with one another as one HUMAN race, not divided into cultural, “racial,” and political factions, with peace, love, and understanding. If we don’t get smart and start working together, start taking down the walls we’re always mending, and start thinking about each other and our fellow inhabitants of this planet, instead of just ourselves, we will only end up killing ourselves by poisoning the source of all of our resources, our earthly mother. So long as we continue to act against what is best for our planet’s delicate homeostasis, the resources we use now will not be available for us in the future, and the human race might die knowing that it could have stopped poisoning its source of life, yet did not. And then we will all feel the guilt and the desperation of knowing that we dug our own graves and killed our future by preventing the recycling and re-sourcing of our resources. That would be terribly sad, indeed.